Cumbria’s mixed fortunes
Bowls By David Taylor  Thursday, 16 October 2008

It was a case of good news and bad news for Cumbria players as two county bowls events took place, with an excellent result in one and a disappointing defeat in the other.
Let’s get the bad news out of the way first. This came in the Under-25 Double Rink where, what I thought was a fairly good Junior side, came unstuck against a no more than average Durham side.
Cumbria’s junior’s looked to be getting the worst throughout. But in the end, thanks to a great display away from home by Kevin Harrison, Mark Irwin, Gary Robertson and Stephen Green, the game actually went to an unexpected extra end before the Durham boys came out on top by picking up two shots on that 22nd end. All the damage was done at Carlisle where the home four of Jonathon Fieldhouse, Lewis Parker, David Forster and Danny May failed to sparkle and suffered a heavy eighteen shot defeat against a Robert Chisholm skipped four. Away from home the Cumbria travellers played really well and were a shade unfortunate not win by more than eighteen shots. This was still a great result for them and one has to feel somewhat sorry for an away side that wins by that margin yet still ends up on the losing side. At home, several experienced players commented on the shot selection on many ends. And whilst one hopes that youngsters can learn from their mistakes this is all part of collecting experience. Players can be coached and taught how to play and deliver bowls but experience can only be gained over a rather longer period of time.

A native approached the cannibals meat shop, where the special of the day was 'Bowlers Brains'. These were priced from $1, $2, $3 and $10. The price difference puzzled the customer and so it was pointed out that, brains at $1 belonged to bowlers who had been leads, the $2 ones to those who had been seconds and the $3 ones to those who had been thirds.
Of course the brains marked at $!0 belonged to the bowlers who had been skips. When questioned about the unexpectedly high price put on skips brains. The Shopkeeper explained, 'Well, they're really very rare, you wouldn't believe how many skips we have to kill before we find one with a set.

Over-60s

On to the better news and this came at the other end of the age spectrum when the Cumbria played its first game in the newly instituted EIBA Inter County league. This was Cumbria’s first venture in inter county team play and right well they performed even if the opposition was not really of too high a standard. Yorkshire have not done too well in the northern counties league which Cumbria have not participated in, But, nevertheless, this first venture saw Cumbria win on five of the six rinks including all three which travelled to Selby and picked up 24 of the possible 26 points on offer. With group favourites Durham managing just sixteen from their game against Lancashire this was an excellent springboard for the Cumbrians. At Selby Anthony Little skipped his four to a great 29-16 win, David Balfour’s all Eden four survived a late revival by the home side to win 22-16 while Jim Hynds after a shotless run of six ends picked up three singles on the last three end to win by one. At Carlisle John bell was in a game of three halves!! winning the first and last while losing the middle to get home by nine while Bill Adam for whom Bill Wood was in good form at three led virtually throughout and held on well to win by a shot. The only defeat for Cumbria was suffered by Ron McMath who saw his opposite number enjoy a fair bit of fortune before recording a three shot win for the visitors. So Cumbria picked up ten shots for the five winning rinks, four points for each winning venue and a further six points for the overall score. A great result which should put the side in good spirits for what will possibly the deciding game against Durham on Tuesday week. This is likely to be a much harder game but with one or two players likely to be available once again there is every chance that Cumbria can score a decisive victory, here’s hoping. The home fours will again play at Carlisle and the away four will I understand travel to either Darlington or Stanley, more news next week.

An old man boards a bus with a bowling wood in each of his front pockets.
He sits down next to a beautiful young lady, and she can’t help but glance quizzically at the man and his bulging pockets. It’s an uneasy few minutes before, finally, the little old man can take no more.
“Bowling balls,” he nods reassuringly.
The lady seems a little shocked, and stares on. Moments later, she says: “Does it hurt as much as tennis elbow?”

Denny Cup

Cumbria IBC the current holders of the Denny Cup make their first defence of the title this Saturday when West Denton will provide the opposition. The Newcastle Club will no doubt put up astern fight but in reality the Carlisle Club should have too many guns for them and anything other than a comfortable victory will be something of a surprise.

Over-60 Inter Club Double Rink

On Tuesday Cumbria A take on Tynedale IBC Hexham in the first round of this national competition. Again Cumbria ought to win this one comfortably but nothing is certain in this game.

Cumbria’s B side is also playing its first round match next week and their opposition will be provided by Durham B.

Again I expect the Carlisle club to come out on top.

Vivienne Trophy

Cumbria’s Vivienne side is also in action for the first time on Thursday but because of the travel rule the match against Melton and District is being played on New Earswick IBC in York. The side for this game is shown below.

EIBA Competitions

The first of the individual nationals get under way this weekend on Sunday at 10am when there are two mixed pairs games being played. Anthony Little meets Geordie McCulloch and Lawrence Telford plays Sandy Kirkpatrick. At noon Craig Docherty plays Brian Robertson while on Tuesday also at noon Jackie Wilson will play Sylvia Jefferies in the singles at Carlisle.

Over-50 County Triples League

Following representations by clubs within Cumbria it has been agreed that the Over 50 triples League which takes place on Sunday mornings will re-commence on Sunday, November 9.

There are seven teams taking part and there are one or two changes to the league rules. All clubs will be circulated with fixture lists and the new rules within the next day or two.

My husband took up bowling
and he bragged upon the phone
about some dame called Kitty
whom he couldn't leave alone

He played with Kitty
he stayed with Kitty
he picked her up without a hitch

He missed Kitty
he kissed Kitty
he even laid beside her in the ditch

So I took up bowling
to win my hubby back
and found that what he could do with Kitty,
I could do with Jack

County Indoor Bowls

On the County Indoor scene another poor turnout for the AGM mean that a number of decisions regarding county administration have yet to be resolved but the first County fixture will take place on October 9, when the new Over 60s Liberty style competition will commence. Three rinks will play against Yorkshire at Cumbria Indoor Bowls Club in Carlisle while the three away rinks will travel to Selby in Yorkshire.

The new competition has a new scoring format with 26 points available for each game. Each winning rink scores two points, there are four points for each winning venue plus six points for an overall win. It does seem to me to be somewhat overly complicated and of course in a league situation it is very much biased in favour of a winning team to the extent that a county which has six single shot winning rinks will take all 26 points, hardly a reflection of the game as a whole.

The first full Liberty Trophy game is also against Yorkshire and that match commences at noon on Saturday October 25.The second Over 60 game sees Durham providing the opposition and this game is to be played on Tuesday October 28, again the home rinks will play in Carlisle, the away venue has yet to be confirmed. The final Over 60 game against Lancashire looks likely to be in December but the date and venues have yet to be confirmed.

Any players wishing to take part in the new Over-60 County League should place their names on the lists within their own club and particularly for the first game on October 9 should do so as soon as possible as selections will be made in the very near future.

An old man called Barry, practises Bowls with his pals each week, has just purchased a new pair of glasses.
On the first end, he draws four touchers. His friends are amazed. Again, on the 2nd and 3rd ends ‘4 touchers.
“Hey, Barry”, one friend asks, “what’s your secret? You’ve never bowled so well.’

‘ “Well guys, its these new bifocals. I see a small jack and a big jack.
I aim for the large one, and the rest is history.”

A few ends later, Barry needs to relieve himself so off to the toilets he goes.
When he returns, his trousers are drenched. `
`What happened Barry”
Barry, in confused voice, “I reached in and looked down, I saw a big one and a little one. I knew the big one wasn’t mine, so I put it back!”
 

Keswick Junior Singles

An excellent entry of eighteen took part in a round robin event on Monday. In glorious weather which enhances the geographical situation of the Fitz Park Club there was some great bowling from the youngsters.

In the semi-final Silloth’s Lewis Parker beat Shap’s Ryan Baird after an extra end while in the other game another good Silloth prospect Adam Hocking accounted for Seaton’s John Barber. In the final Adam Hocking beat Lewis Parker 8-7.

True Story?
I suppose the world should know of the happenings in Perth some years ago. I am assured by one of the people involved that this is not an urban myth! (I refrain from mentioning names to avoid giving offence.)

The story goes that Player A (the third) collapses on the green just as Player B (the skip) is about to let go of his bowl. The others call out to B to stop. B has a look and responds with "It's OK, I can draw around him!" The claim is that A heard this and this is the thing which gave him the will to survive his heart attack.

Outdoor Bowls

The outdoor season is only just ending but preparations for next year are already in hand and provisional programmes will be circulated to clubs in the near future. News from the Northern Counties AGM is that the new catering arrangements of pre match buffet have been successful and will continue for all Northern Counties matches next year though arrangements for games against Midland Counties have yet to be finalised.

There is also the possibility that the format of the Muras Cup is to be changed with effect from 2010 though whether the new regime will allow Cumbria to enter has not yet been decided.

One of the old stories that is still funny today supposedly happened in the Vale a few Years ago. A well known skip was having a hard time from the other three in his team who had failed to contribute anything throughout the game.

At the last end the third walked down to the mat to play his first bowl and pausing, shouted back up the rink. "Where's oor nearest bool?". "In yer ******* hand!", answered the skip.

A NEW season is approaching for Copeland Bowls and Sports Centre. Monday 15 September will see the start of the new bowling season at Copeland Bowls and Sports Centre, managed by charitable company North Country Leisure Copeland, who will be kick-starting the new season with a number of free and £1 sessions, to introduce novices and beginners to the game.

“We really want to encourage more people to get involved in keeping fit over the winter season so we are offering ‘have-a-go’ bowling sessions to increase the number of people coming to the centre” said Centre Manager Alan Burns. “Bowling is a great way of getting active and we are making lots of changes at the centre to improve our services and the number of activities on offer.” Since last summer the centre has seen substantial investment and refurbishment with new lighting and upgrading to the bowling green and externally with resurfacing of the car park.

New things on offer this season include the introduction of a Bowling Pub League which is being rolled out across all of the pubs in the local area and Thursday evenings will be reserved for a new starter’s league. Future developments will include upgrading the café bar with new flooring, large screen TV, pool table and darts board and members receive a discounted rate on drinks and food. This space can also be used as a function room for parties and has a fully licensed bar.

£1 sessions will run from Friday August 29 to Sunday August 31 (10am-4pm), Monday September 1, Wednesday September 3, Friday September 5, Tuesday September 9 and Thursday September 11 (10am-6pm) and Monday September 8, Wednesday September 10 and Friday September 12 (10am-8pm). There will also be free sessions on Thursday September 4, Saturday September 6, Saturday September 13 and Sunday September 14 which are open to anyone to come along and have a go and also includes complimentary tea or coffee.

For further information contact the centre on 01946 815100

You have a referee in football. An umpire in cricket. What do you have in Bowls?-----A GOLDFISH !

By Julie Armstrong ,  Last updated 13:34, Friday, 18 April 2008

ONE thousand members of a nationally successful bowls centre are in limbo over what will happen to their club.

The University of Cumbria is planning a £70m campus at Carlisle’s Viaduct Estate, where Cumbria Indoor Bowls has been sited for 34 years. The university is putting together a business plan to win funding and hopes to start work on the Caldew Riverside campus late next year. The landowner, Carlisle City Council, is enthusiastic about the university’s plans. But the three leaseholders – Cumbria Indoor Bowls, Eden Bridge Club and CTD Tiles – are still waiting to find out what will happen to them.

David Taylor, manager of Cumbria Indoor Bowls, said: “We’ve leased the land here since 1974 and the first we knew about the plans for the viaduct was when we read it in the paper. It was disappointing. “The council wrote to us shortly afterwards and said it had been an oversight." “We don’t know what is going to happen to the club. Our members keep asking us and we can’t give them an answer." “We have members who come from as far as Lockerbie, Silloth and Alston.”

Tesco also has planning consent for a 40,000sq ft supermarket at the Viaduct Estate, which the university hopes will be integrated into the campus. Mr. Taylor said: “If Tesco comes with its huge car park, the traffic will be chaos here." “But at the moment being in the centre is a good location. It is handy for our members who can dip into town." “I just hope the council appreciate what good facilities are here for the age 50-plus community. It would be a shame to lose this social centre if we weren’t suitably relocated.”

John Bell, tourism manager at Carlisle City Council, said: “It is imperative the club is kept going somewhere. It is a good boost for the local economy. It’s going to host the Professional Bowlers’ Association qualifying tournament in September, and that will be good for accommodation providers in the city.” Mr. Bell, who is a former world bowling champion and England team manager, added: “It is a very popular club and punches above its weight for the numbers it’s got. “Last month it won the Denny Cup – the national club competition – for the fifth time. And the same weekend, the under-60s ladies won the Lingford trophy.”

A council spokesperson said its officers would meet with the three leaseholders to discuss the best way forward. He said: “We are in the process of arranging to meet with them in the coming weeks to assess the specific implications as more detailed proposals are developed. “We would aim to arrive at a mutually beneficial position, which could involve relocation. “Leaseholders will be kept fully informed as things progress.”

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